I'm Ready!!!

As I had suspected, a little taste of a Mammoth winter, below freezing temps and a couple of months living with relatives has succeeded in giving me the boost I needed to feel REALLY READY to get on that plane! Nothing against our family at all! They have generously put up with our brood for a good month now. It doesn't matter who we stay with, two months of hopping around without a home to call our own has made me very eager to land at our new Hawaiian abode.

I cried my tears off and on for weeks, if not months, and haven't really cried since the day Peter drove away with the UHaul full of our things ready for shipment to Hawaii. Not to say that I won't shed a tear or two when the big day arrives, which will be here a week from tomorrow!!! I know this last week is going to FLY by at lightning speed. Today our dear friends the Helblings arrive from Sonora. We haven't seen them or their 3 kiddos for a year as they have been caring for orphans in Tanzania. Tomorrow our friend Josh Farmer arrives from Kansas City. I think it may have been 4 1/2 year ago that we last saw him! His wife, Amy, will arrive on the 1st with their little man and youngest of 4 little ones, Sam. I believe our friends Andy & Jaimee Langeland will arrive on the 30th. They are missionaries in the Ukraine and friends from our Orange County days, although I have known Andy since he was a wee lad in Redding. :) Finally, the Dells fly in on a red eye flight from Guam (with 3 boys in tow) on the 31st and will drive from SFO to Mammoth in time for the Watchmen concert on New Years Eve!

My parents and sister will also arrive on the 31st and stay until the 3rd. And did I mention that Peter's sister, Heather, and her family of 5 are also staying in the same house with us for 2 weeks??? They leave on the 3rd or 4th. It has been so great having them around and broke up our 5 weeks living here with Peter's parents nicely. Our boys have thoroughly enjoyed having their cousins around 24/7 while they are on Christmas vacation. Never a dull moment!

The last of our company leaves on Sunday the 4th and we have our going-away party at church that night. On Monday morning we will get up one last time in this house, pack up for good and get ready for our 4 pm flight from Mammoth to L.A.! I feel giddy at the very thought!!! We have flown to Hawaii with Aaron before, but he is a little older now and will be more aware of what's going on. I haven't flown with Alex since he was 4 months old, so I think the whole experience will be exciting for him. I look forward to the moments when I get to watch my firstborn experience Hawaii for the first time in his life!

Speaking of Alex, he is doing pretty good. He has been just a little more defiant, choosing to not listen to us, whining and getting emotional quickly, etc. In the car yesterday he was upset about something more than he normally would be and I asked him, "Hey Alex, I'm wondering if something else could be bothering you?" Without hesitation he said, "Yeah, I don't want to go to a new school!!! " Well, there we have it! At least he knew what was eating at him. He is anxious about starting out at a new school when he was so content at his school here in Mammoth. At least we know he's normal. :)

As for me, I am again employed by our business as the Inquiry Coordinator, handling all e-mail inquiries and helping people with reservations and rate info for our properties. In return I am not being paid, but Peter bought me a new MacBook and I am working in trade for that. I love my new computer and it will make it possible for me to easily Skype with friends and family after our move!

New Developments

Today was Alex's last day at Mammoth Elementary School. He came home happy about it being the last day and excited to not have anymore homework! I was relieved that he wasn't upset about it. He felt very special at his "aloha party" at school yesterday and said that all the kids were telling him good-bye today. He seemed to like that.

Another development from our day today is that we had an ultrasound and were unable to find out the gender of our baby. It was actually pretty cute--every time the technician tried to take a peek between the legs, the baby's knees would come together in an act of modesty. Ha ha! I had a feeling we weren't going to be able to find out, so I wasn't really disappointed. We still feel pretty sure this is our girl, but may have to wait another 22 weeks or so to find out for sure!

As far as our "stuff" goes, the shipping container should arrive in Kapa'au on Monday. We will then arrange to have a truck transport it to Jenny & Sully's property and put it on the ground (hopefully very carefully!). Our Landcruiser sets sail tomorrow, from what I understand, and will be waiting for us in Kawaihae (20 minutes from our new home) when we arrive. We are renting a car for the first couple of days so we have a way to get from the airport to our car and have a day or so to return the rental to Kona (an hour drive from Kapa'au).

One logistic we had yet to work out until today was how we would get our family to L.A. when it's time to catch our one-way flight. We have a hotel room booked for the 5th in L.A. so we can stay the night and be ready to go for our early morning departure on Tuesday the 6th. We had hoped to find someone to drive us to L.A., but then they would have to turn around and drive the 5 hours back again. We hadn't been able to work out a good solution for this issue.

Today we had our first guest (for our vacational rental business) fly from LAX to Mammoth, a new service our airport is offering. We reazlied (duh) that we could fly from Mammoth to LAX and save ourselves the 5 hours of driving with the kids. We also wouldn't have to find someone to drive us down south AND we'd be able to check in our bags at a nice, small airport instead of at LAX. So we did it; we forked out the $325.00 to take the 1-hour flight from Mammoth to L.A. I think this is going to make a nice start to our trip as it will be so easy to get to the airport here and we won't be worn out from the extra driving time.

So that's pretty much the udpate for now. We are looking forward to enjoying the kids' Christmas vacation. The San Diego cousins will arrive on Sunday and, I'm sure, provide plenty of entertainment for all!

No Turning Back

I can't even begin to say how exhausted I am. I was up the entire night last night. Okay, I MAYBE got 1-2 hours of sleep sometime between 2-4. Peter left at 5 a.m. with his dad and our friend Sean to drive the UHaul and our Landcruiser down to Long Beach, plus a 3rd vehicle to drive the other two guys home in (since the UHaul and the Landcruiser stayed down there). After arriving down in Long Beach around 11ish today, they spent 2 hours packing up our 2o' shipping container which waited on the trailer of a flatbed truck. I guess after they were done that container was taken and lifted onto the ship it will travel to Hawaii on. Our Landcruiser was then processed somewhere else and taken in for shipping. Which, of all things, that makes me the most sad right now. I miss my car. I got parts of it repainted and the whole thing buffed out a day before it left town, and I want to drive around in my shiny car! Instead it's sitting down at some dingy port waiting to begin it's ocean voyage all alone. Ha!

Anyway, today was a long day since Peter wasn't here to help with the boys and I was beyond tired. It really wasn't terrible, just long. Peter's mom and I ordered take-out from 3 different places for dinner tonight, ha ha! Neither of us felt like going to the store OR cooking for the clan, so we all ordered what we felt like eating and I ran around and picked it up. Good thing we live in a small town!

I should be asleep right now, but probably in 30-45 minutes Peter and his dad will arrive. I don't think I could fall asleep if I wanted to. The winds are crazy right now and I can't help but be a bit worried about them, especially knowing how exhausted they are and that they're at the tail end of a 19-hour traveling/moving day. None of those guys do well driving at night when they're tired. Hopefully they'll keep each other awake.

So yeah, our stuff is gone. I'll see it on the other side soon, as in about 25 days. I cried a bit after I heard Peter drive off in the UHaul early this morning and Peter's mom was crying today. The fact that our things and our car has gone on ahead of us means wow, we are really doing this and we have officially committed to the point of no turning back. This is the real deal.

I continue to grieve with Alex. I just so badly want to get that kid to Hawaii and show him how amazing it is and how much he's going to love it and all the new friends he's going to make. I want him to see that it really is going to be okay. Yesterday he was saying he wouldn't move there, he'd only visit. That's all I can ask of him right now. :) Geez, we moved here the day he turned 4 months old, this is the only way of life he knows. And he's very attached to that life and the people in it! He's such a sweetie. I hope the excitement over going on the airplane supersedes his sadness over leaving when the big day arrives. I just can't bear to see his little heart broken!

Well, as I always try to end on a lighter more positive note, I must say I am relieved to be done packing and having to figure out what is going to Hawaii and what isn't. I'm done. Oh, and we also don't have to think about all the shipping details either. Now we just follow the tracking info and watch for when it lands. I have a few things to sell on Ebay and everything else is going in our suitcases and going with us. So, work-wise, the hard part really is over. Now we have a little over three weeks of holidays and good-byes. I fear these last days may be the most difficult of all, even after months of planning and packing. No way around that.

I do have to say I am thankful for how the timing of everything has come together. We have been able to do this whole moving deal without having to work around snow and freezing temps. Now tonight, as the guys arrive back home having completed the moving mission, a storm is blowing in with REALLY COLD weather and, prayerfully, lots of snow!

Yeah, they're here!!!!

A Bittersweet Night

Tonight Peter & I attended our final Lighthouse leadership meeting, which took the form of a white elephant gift exchange. Following the exchange, Pastor Dave shared that the church's offer on a new building in town was accepted and we were all headed there to have cake and take a tour. He also talked about some events and guests who will be coming to the church in the next few months. The more I heard, the more my heart sunk deeper and deeper into my chest. Not that I wasn't excited for the church and the growth and all the new changes, but the reality of us not being there to enjoy it all and see it with our own eyes was setting in with a piercing finality.

I began to go down the "poor me, this isn't fair" road but had to quickly flip the page on that thought process. You know, this is just our life. Like it or not, the Lord seems to have called us to be forerunners in whatever we do and that means laboring to establish a new work and then passing the baton when it's going strong. When I think back over our last 11 years together, this is the 3rd time we have passed the baton. We started out in ministry at Safe Harbor Church and Peter launched the worship ministry literally the day after he graduated from college. He really built that part of the church from the ground up and it was hopping when our 3 years there came to an end and we were called on to our next project in the desert. But we made our closest, life-long friends during that season and a foundation was layed in our lives that we continue to be grateful for.

Our season at Father's Heart Ranch was grueling, a desert experience in more ways than one. I must say that we learned more and grew more during those 3 1/2 years than we ever have in any season, all through the school of hard knocks. And when it got so hard that our Board even gave us the freedom to walk away from the project, we knew we were supposed to stay and keep on keepin' on. God told me He was building up our "faith muscles" and that He did. Sometimes I still wonder how we came through a year of working without being paid, especially considering we adopted Mark during that time. I'll tell you how, day by day and miracle by miracle!

I remember Mark realizing our financial situation and praying before bed, "Dear God, please let there be $1,000.00 in our mailbox in the morning." Oh my. Ha! Oh how He loves the prayers of the little ones! Mark sat and waited for the mailman to drive up our dirt road the next day, fully expecting God to answer His prayer for provision. And He did. As a true testimony to God's amazing faithfulness to us, there was an envelope with $1,000.00 in it. No joke. I don't know why I was surprised, but I was definitely thankful that God answered Mark's prayer that day!

Oh, but that is all a bunny trail. Long story short, when that children's home was finally launched and we received our first children, we were allowed to remain there and enjoy the fruit of it for only a few short months before we knew our mission was complete. We passed the baton to a family who had the credentials to take the care facility further than we could, and they are still there doing just that. While they still call on Peter for consulting from time to time, we have little to do with that project anymore and take joy in the fruit of those children's lives only from a distance.

Thankfully, the doors flew open to us in Mammoth and there was no doubt this was our next stop. That was 5 years and 5 days ago. And now we have 30 days left. Not only has Peter once again built an amazing worship ministry at a church, but he has built a highly successful business! Just this past week he was talking to his former boss at the Town Finance Dept. and he told Peter that our business is the only one of it's kind that is GROWING right now! THAT is something to thank God for! Even in a time of economic recession, our business continues to be blessed. Wow.

But it's been hard here. For a long time I was the only mother with young children at the church and I often felt excluded as a result. There was no Sunday School or special program for my kids like there was when I was growing up. Not only that, but the only church service was (and is) at a time when my kids should have been at home in bed for the night. We tried many different solutions to this problem, none of which lasted for long. So to sit there tonight and hear about how a nursery is going to be built in the new building that will allow the mothers to attend with their children and still see and hear the service, I couldn't help but cry out of both frustration and relief. Finally a working solution seems to be on the horizon, a glimpse of long-awaited hope. The numerous young mothers who now attend the church will be able to benefit from that while we're off in Hawaii starting a whole new project from scratch. Yep, starting all over again. This time we won't even have a church, just a few like-spirited friends!

I do believe we have a lot to look forward to in Hawaii. Jenny & Sully have already been there for several years paving the way for what we are going to do together. Essentially we are going over there and starting 3 new businesses with very limited resources. This is when I am VERY thankful for the husband I have because I don't know many people who could take on a challenge like that and actually complete it well! I hope to be as much a part of everything he does there as possible, while I know the reality is that I will be pretty busy keeping our home and family going so that Peter can do what he is so good at doing. Ultimately, though, we have and will only accomplish that which God has blessed! The credit is all due to HIM, not us! We only have that which He has given us.

To tell the truth, what we feel called to do in Hawaii is beyond what either of us or the Sullivans can accomplish. Which is great because that means God HAS to show up! One thing I have learned through all we have done is that I don't want to live a life that is humanly possible. I don't want to live life protecting whatever it is we have been given over the years, although there is a responsibility to do that to an extent (obviously we have a family to care for and protect). I keep hearing stories about people who have lost their entire life savings or their retirement funds in the recent stock market dive. We just never know how long we will have the "stuff" we've come to find comfort in on this earth. Our lives are but a breath and each day is a gift. When our days are up on this earth, the "stuff" of this life won't matter anymore. Good thing, because we just exchanged most of our stuff for one-way plane tickets and a shipping container! Ha ha! Oh well...so we travel a little lighter now.


Well, anyway, this was a long one. But I make no apologies because this was what I needed tonight. I just needed to process, process, process. It's not my fault if you read it all. Ha ha! Our 30 days left here suddenly feel more like 30 seconds and the clock is ticking all too fast. It took all my strength to not have an emotional breakdown right there in the midst of our holiday party tonight. I knew if I let the tears start flowing, I wouldn't be able to turn them off again. But I let them out a little almost every night when I go to bed. Hopefully, by the time we set foot on the island, I will have cried my tears and will have nothing left to do but take pleasure in our new life there. I hope. :)

By the way, the photos I have included were all taken tonight. The first one was taken of our store-front window from outside. The second is Peter inside the new building. And the last is our leadership team just thanking God for the new place. We've come a LONG way in 5 years and I couldn't help but take a few photos so we don't forget it!